My 16-year-old son has always been a secretive person. He likes his privacy. This something that I respect. Recently, he started to date a girl from his class and “the secret” he had suddenly become a ‘top secret.’ 

I have always told my kids that life is where you experiment. And as such, my wife and I encourage our kids to challenge themselves and explore their potential. We strive (and yes, sometimes struggle) to give them the freedom to try everything (at least once). 

I did, however, provide them with some ground rules:

  1. Don’t hurt yourself
  2. Don’t hurt others
  3. Don’t come home with grandkids (not yet)
  4. Don’t come back with STDs (ever)
  5. Have a joint when you’re 21
  6. Don’t give a fuck unless you mean it
  7. Create

But back to my 16-year-old son. Teasing him about his girlfriend, I decided to elevate the level of embarrassment and asked him, “are you sure, she’s a girl?” but just as he started to blush, I realized how complicated things really are for a teenager these days, so I rephrased my question.

Let’s say you’re falling in love with a girl who was born a boy, and, while she never did a sex change surgery, she identifies herself as a female, dresses, and acts like a normal teenager girl. Does falling in love with her make you gay? 

“I don’t know,” my son answered.

Lenin said: “Either revolution will prevent the war, or the war will trigger a revolution.” I use this quote as I feel that the world in which I live is on the verge of an explosion. We are in the midst of the most extraordinary social changes we have ever experienced as a civilization, yet we are ignorant of their real and impending impact. 

We are busy engaging in meaningless conflicts with those who have a different set of moral belief systems, while downplaying the complexity and confusion we are creating amidst the fog of war. Let it be political, religious, gender, the climate, and others – the agendas we are promoting are driven by shame, guilt, and violence. It is more comparable to a witch hunt than logical reasoning. There is no symmetry between the facts and the choices we ask people to make. We are trying to promote equality by bending people to our own will, forgetting that equality is, first and foremost, a personal prescription of one’s ability to choose for oneself, without feeling shame or guilt and without the fear of being ridiculed. We have created a reality where small authoritarian groups are now the majority.

I don’t say that we shouldn’t promote ideas. I do, however, think that if Hegel was right and our perception of the world and the narratives we possess as individuals are a mirror of the environment we live in, then promoting ideas with violence will create a circle of self-destruction. (da)

We love to talk about freedom of will and freedom of speech. And we take that right of freedom to the streets, protesting for something, or against something. But when our 14-year-old daughter happens to pass a climate protest and sees a sign that says: “If you don’t believe in climate change, your mother is a hoe” these fundamental rights are being challenged. What if the person that carries the sign is the type of person our daughter would otherwise look up to? What if the person was wearing something our daughter likes? Do you really think she will dare to express her real opinion and beliefs, or simply hold everything inside and join the ride of social pressure and begin to actually believe that our views can make our moms a hoe?

I often stand on a stage and give keynotes on various topics. Mostly, my talks are designed to make people feel uncomfortable, as I believe that when we are uncomfortable, we are finally ready to accept and drive change. I find it funny that when I stand in front of people and call myself an idiot, there is always someone in the audience that gets offended. I’m used to being ridiculed; I actually love it. Being ridiculed is a strong indication that you are impacting others (for good or bad). It’s the signal society gives you when you’re refusing to compromise on your moral values – It’s the manifestation of Hegel’s “positive role of the negative.” 

When the fuck did, we all become so sensitive?

We live in a world where words are our new prison. We are driven by transactional thinking rather than conscious creation. We exchange our morals and ethics for a dose of dopamine (see US politics). “Language” that has always been the cornerstone of free imaginative and rational reasoning is now a tool used to put humanity on autopilot, except no one is in control of the navigation system.

Don’t get me wrong. I never underestimate or undervalue people’s belief systems and the right to fight for what they believe is true. I do, however, think that we should stop trying to fix the world and realise that it’s the people that are fucked – not the world.

Aric Dromi

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